What?

I have had a day already today. Mostly my own fault. There are just some days that are stressful for no good reason than I am just 'off' for some reason. What could be wrong, hmm? Let me recount.

Got up and knit, drank coffee and even watched Knitty Gritty.

Kids came down 1 by 1.

Decided to do school at home today vs. at library.

All that sounds GREAT!!!! But, it is me. I just want my house to be magically put together, my dd # 1 to not forget anything over the weekend, IE: 2+2=4, and last but not least my spinning wheel to get here.

"What?" you say? You heard me right. I am waiting for my new spinning wheel to get here. I sold the Ashford Traditonal to (drum roll please) Nikki (sorry, hyperlink not working for me today) and got a fantastic deal on a Kromski Minstrel.

I found a deal to good to pass up on Ebay and went for it. I can hardly wait. It is supposed to be delivered tomorrow. The only problem is, tomorrow is Tuesday and I am going to go out of town on Wednesday and won't be back until Saturday late. AAARRRGGGHHH. I just want to spin and not come up for air for days.

barometric pressure

Have you ever noticed on 'high-pressure' days your mood is better. Today's weather is 75 degrees, sunny, and slightly breezy. I am in HEAVEN!!! Mood is great. No sweating or freezing. A light shawl might be called for, but just because shawls are so pretty. I love 'high pressure' days. Barometric pressure that is.

I don't like days when the pressure to produce is high. Go, go, go. Those days the witch in me starts to come out. Can you relate? Give me some time to knit, spin, visit, pray..... whatever. And I am a better woman for it.

Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to 'do it all?' I just want to enjoy what I have. The friends I have. The children I have. The husband I have. The time I have. I am tired of thinking the grass is greener somewhere else, sometime else or whatever. We only get one time around on this planet. I want to make the most of it. Invest in YOU. Invest in my kiddoes and husband. Am I preaching? I don't mean to.

Let's give each other and ESPECIALLY ourselves some grace. Grace is undeserved merit or favor. Forgiveness. Letting go of hurt feelings and putting them in the trash. We all have been hurt, big time hurt, and hurt each other. I am making a commitment to let it go. Forgive. Forget. Love. Not the romantic type, but the true type. The kind that puts others 1st. I think that way, I will be filled up with 'a high pressure, breezy, and comfortable' life. Am I crazy? Maybe? This doesn't mean that life is easy. Au Contraire. I am just learning to live in grace and forgive.

Thank you God for this high pressure day. It was beautiful. I think I'll go knit on my porch.

Fawn

I had put it off long enough. The 2nd fleece. Today, I took the bull by the horns and went for it!

I got it MUCH cleaner than Brother. I followed a woolmills directions for scouring.

She is so beautiful and light. I have no idea what the staple is yet. I am having visions of what I can make with this pearly, lusciousness.

Other than scouring I have been schooling, de-cluttering and shopping online for something that will be unveiled at another time. See if you can be patient. Jennifer won't be surprised.

Progress Report

Just updating you on my progress with Rogue. I have started the 1st sleeve. I guess I could put 2 sleeves on 1 needle, but I am not real anxious to finish this thing. In fact, I will be sad when it is done.










Here is the finished body and hood. Now you can see my HUGE oops.
Close up details of the hood and the side shaping. I still need to block this thing.



















And last but not least, my newest love. The I Do shrug!!! This is some Noro Lily multi in a turquoise/navy/brown/teal colorway. I have been waiting for 2 years to find the right pattern for this yarn. A lot of it is in a UFO of a cardigan. Plain knit. I think that lace design really brings out the 'specialness' of the Noro. Plus it is 70% cotton and 30% silk. The notes by the designer says that it looks fantastic with jeans. Since jeans is "DRESSING UP" for me at church, I have a new outfit!!! Let's just hope that my problems with gauge have been improved.

Notice the bell sleeve. This is a fashion stretch for me. I am a plain, plain, plain person. I like plain clothes and plain decorating. I am just not flashy and this will be a show stopper. Let's hope I have the courage to wear it!

A photo shoot

So, here's the story. I put on the sleeveless Rogue at 8pm and head outside for a photo shoot with dh by the gargantuan rosemary shrub so I could show you all my work. I turn off the flash and DH takes 5 or 6 shots. The pix are TERRIBLE! It is not the sweater, it is not the light, it is ME!!!

For those of you who don't know me, I have had 3 children and am not a teenager anymore. I don't even expect to look in the mirror and see a size 0 model anymore. I know who I am as a person and even like myself. I HATE the fact that our culture places so much value on body size. I am basically happy with the size 14 that I am.

Excuse me while I scream for a moment.

*(*&(#$@#$$^%*%&*^$^%$#^%%&*(^*_&*(*&%^&$^%#^%$*^%*&%^&%^^%$#@#@$

Thanx. Feel much better now. Now I can go back to my rational minded self who realistically doesn't expect bodily perfection. Not even going to think about it again. At least, until see another pix of self.

So, who are the people who are doing this to us? Believe it or not, I think it is other women. You know, I don't want to be 18 again. That was a crappy time in my life. I like 35. So, why do we 'model' ourselves after 14-18 year olds who have no life experience (most anyway) and have not even discovered the true beauty that they have inside themselves. Goodness.

I will try again tomorrow. Maybe the light will be better and I will have magically lost 15lbs.

catie

We're back!!!!

Holden Beach, NC. April 2007.

We froze our arses off. I have never been so cold as I was this past week. We got tired of being locked inside during a Nor'Easter, so we went to the beach and the sea was really rough.

Kids are made of sterner stuff than me. My lovedies are all in the water. Why, why, why? It wasn't even 60 degrees.

The wind whipped up quite a bit of foam. Ethan really enjoyed playing with it like bubbles from his bath. He is only 3 after all.


Then, it didn't matter anymore about the weather. It didn't matter that our car broke down. All that mattered was that we were together and safe.

Andy is an alum of VT. Andy's brother, Tim, is an undergrad and grad alum. It was horrible to watch and to be away. We cried a bit and prayed a bit.

The weather did improve enough to consider letting the kids wear shorts. I only did so after much begging and pleading. At least it wasn't my body shivering and my teeth chattering. I got no points for good mothering this week.

Does anyone see something wrong with Rogue? The picture is terrible, I don't know why, but you can still see a glaring mistake that is unfixable. I didn't notice the mistake until I had knit part of the neck detail, joined the shoulders, and modeled the sweater for Lovey Husband. Guess what? Not fixin it. Hm mmmm, no way. Ain't gonna do it.

I guess I am not a Knitter vs. a knitter. I am unwilling to sacrifice for perfection.

Here is a very nice picture of the neck detail.

















Hope y'all have a great week. I'll be away. Hey Diana, could you drive by my house and if you see a moving van, call the cops. Thanx. Catie

What do you do, while you brush your teeth?

I HAVE A STATEMENT TO MAKE!!!

I HATE BEING WATCHED WHILE I SLEEP!!!!

Do you remember in Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, when Colin Firth is trying to sleep, and Bridget is watching him in a love struck, birds singing way. Well, my lovedy is Bridget Jones. Ever since we got married, Andy has found it sweet to watch me while I sleep. The only problem is, IT WAKES ME UP!!!! I am not the sweetest thing first thing either.

• He watches me while brushing his teeth, it is such a boring task, that I am more entertainment asleep than watching the kids.
• He watches me while getting dressed/undressed.
• He watches me before going to work.
• He watches me just to annoy me. For some reason he thinks this is funny! Does he like being raked with nails?

I need a lot of sleep, unfortunately. Having had babies back to back for the last 7 years has made me chronically sleep deprived. Now that the kids are sleeping in to 8ish, Andy lets me sleep. Is this what I want? What I have repeatedly asked him to do? NO. I want my bohunkus behind hauled out of bed at 7am so that I can have my desperately needed alone time to wake up. My ideal routine would be as follows:

• hang legs over bed for 5 minutes
• 1st cup of coffee wrapped in Miss Koigu
• watch news for the weather
• acquire 2nd cup of coffee while contemplating knitting
• knit while I am drinking coffee

After the requisite 1.5 hours of waking up, kids can come down and be happily greeted by a calm, sweet, patient mother. I would need to get up at 6:30 to accomplish this difficult task. Gee, that isn't difficult. YES, IT IS. Remember DH, thinks I am sweet asleep. He doesn't have the heart to get me up. Even after me begging and pleading with him to do so. He lets me sleep and then, the munchkins get up and my torture begins.

Not getting up sets my day off on a really bad foot. Grumpy, cranky, non-caffeinated, and no time to knit and vegetate. Why won't Andy wake me up? I need an alarm clock. Yes, that is the ticket. I am not hard to wake up, just cranky and don't want to talk. Andy is SUPPOSED to be my alarm clock. Why won't he wake me up? Doesn't he understand that not waking me up is tatamount to expecting me to do a NASCAR race with the kids as soon as my eyes open? Without fuel and a tune-up. I might even need my tires changed.

He likes to watch while I sleep.

Dearest Lovedy, We need to talk. I have mentioned these 2 issues before, but it hasn't made much of a dent in your hard head. Here goes: I know that you like to watch me sleep. I wish you would quit. I understand that you love me, but this drives me to the edge of violence to hear you brushing your teeth, open my eyes, and see you staring at me. Do you think watching me sleep is a spectator sport? I am here to inform you that it is not.

On to the 2nd issue: Why won't you get me up? I understand that you think I look cute all warm and sleepy. But don't you get it that I need alone time, coffee, and knitting to be sane 1st thing in the morning? I willingly choose to forgo the extra 1.5 hours of sleep in order to be a decent, pleasant mother. I am begging you....... GET ME UP!!!

ALL MY LOVE, Lovey Wife

Dumpster Diving

Hello Saturday!!! BC, that is Before Children, Saturday was a day of ENDLESS possibilities. Sometimes we would hike, take a day trip, or even (quite a bit actually, in retrospect), go away for the weekend. We had a DINK (double income, no kids) lifestyle. That is long over!!!

This was my life so far, today. Awaken, by children at 8:30. Make coffee. Sit to knit. You see my priorities. Andy makes bacon and sunny side up eggs with kiddos. I am served eggs, toast, and bacon. I even got to watch "Tyler's Ultimate Pot Roast" on the Food Network. Kids then request a video. We put one in and adjourn to have a quick wrestling match ;).

Then..... The Piece de Resistance...... Dumpster Diving. Yes, dumpster diving. My decluttering from the past 2 or 3 months hasn't meant much without careful maintenance. When I was a serious blonde, I took maintenance seriously. Now, my hair and house suffers from the lack thereof. So, me and the girls dove into the trash heap of their room. We sorted all the baby girl toys, and dumped them into a box for Goodwill. You wouldn't believe all the stuff that those chicks parted with WILLINGLY. Then, they dove under the bunks and dug out the equivalent of a paleontologists dream of artifacts. Some organic and some inorganic. Andy the the Bud Man did his room. Andy is now vacuuming out all the stuff too small to pick up and throw into a massive trash bag.

I have sil who lives in Boston, is single, and has REALLY been dumpster diving. Back when McDonald's was giving away free plane tickets in exchange for collected drink cups, Becca and her friends would dig thru dumpsters, collect cups, and turn them in for plane tickets. That got her to the beach last year for the annual LONG family beach vacation. Believe me, I will be blogging about that when the times comes again this year. That is a comedy in and of itself.

My kids are well on their way to being obsessed with stuff. They come by it honestly. Parents and aunts, uncles, friends, and grandparents shower them with things. And, FYI, most of all those things have now become unloved and put out into the dumpster for someone else to dive for. Yeesh. The whining that I get at whatever store just to end up in the dump. I am realizing the massive waste of money that I have been party too. There is a lesson here.

What am I setting my affections on and beg for, after I get it, ends up in the dump, unloved?

God, help me to set my affections on things that last forever!! Give me a love for the things that last for eternity. Thank you Father for blessing me and my family and forgive me for complaining and whining about what I don't have. I love you.

Eggs

Hems

I actually have a title for this picture:

QUALITY TIME

Today my in-laws came and took my kids to their house today for a play date with some cousins. I usually go to Bible study on Wed. and I had a HUGE DECISION to make. Do I go to Bible study, see friends, pray, and generally be fed. OR, stay home knit, card and spin, read and do various other sundry things ALONE with out my helpers? Boy, I tell you it was a tough decision. And I opted to go to study. I walked the mile to my friends house. Beautiful day!!!!

The study was great, as usual. God really spoke to me today and I think I will share it with you, if you are interested, read on!!!! It DOES tie into knitting.
Easter is HERE!!! Resurrection!!! Hallelujah!!! But, did you know that the Jewish Passover celebration coincides with this holiday? It does. The Passover is an ancient celebration of the Exodus of the Hebrews from Egypt. God miraculously set His people free! And, BTW, that is what we were studying today in Bible study, the book of Exodus. We are at the parting of the Red Sea.

Well, God took His people the long way to the Red Sea. Put them in an impossible situation. There were mountains on either side of a million plus people, a deep sea in front of them, and Pharaoh's army (with chariots, the equivalent of a F-14 today) behind them. That doesn't seem fair. God brought them to a place to either drown or be slaughtered. God, "hemmed them in."

Have you ever been there? I have. Circumstances with mom on either side of me and no way to go, but through the sea. Chased by my own demons, bent on my destruction. I was so PISSED OFF at God. You have no idea how much. The last thing I wanted to do was to be the caretaker of my CRAZY mother. I had my own life to live, children to raise, and a baby on the way.

Frequently it is said, that God doesn't give us more than we are able to bear. Bull. I have found it to be that I am FREQUENTLY asked to bear more than I can handle, without God. With God..... that is a different story. Let us just say that I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES!! Personal, huge ones!! I had to go to court and become the caretaker of my mother. And let me tell you, it has been a huge personal sacrifice!!! The hardest thing I have ever done. BUT!!!!!!, God healed me. I faced my own shit (if this offends you, sorry, but that is what it is and no other word will do) , got my head together, and I am well on my way to becoming the woman God intends me to be! That is a MIRACLE of epic proportions!!! Hallelujah!!!

Moving on. Why does God "hem us in?" I think that it is an act of love. Take Rogue for example. There is a hem on the bottom and on the sleeves. I don't HAVE to hem them. They will just have an grossly, ugly curl at the bottom. So..... I suck it up and hem. And the results are beautiful. God hemmed me in to face my own demons. The results are beautiful.

I'll leave you with this Psalm:
O, Lord, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O Lord.

You hem me in-behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go to flee from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed int he depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you for I am fearfully and
wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths
of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts,
O God!
How vast the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I am awake,
I am still with you.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139:1-18 and 23-24

Not a witty day

Well, today I began the war with moths. Actually, it is a preemptive strike. A prescription of hot water, Euclan woolwash in lavender, and a spin out cycle. Then off to the boxwood for a day, laying out in the sun.

Say, I wish someone would do that for me. Clean me up, and lay me out. Wouldn't that be a welcome change. I would add one thing though. A wonderful dinner hot and put before me. Bliss.

I am having a ball with rogue. Here is the side cable detail. I am soooooo glad that did the cable cap first. I really thought she would be harder, but maybe that is to come later. I think doing the cap first took some of my 'Rogue' anxiety away.


Here's a blurry shot of the kangaroo pocket in progress.

The sad thing is that I will not be able to wear Rogue until next October. I can't seem to make the switch to summer type knitting. I am really hung up on sweaters. Maybe because it is just recently that I can make them fit (due to an evil known as gauge).

The summer of socks is not quite in full swing. I have to finish Rogue and DH's Ecowool Raglan.

Not very witty today. Just knitting. Hope you are enjoying the beautiful day. Catie

Edit on Wednesday: The moths I DO have are the mealy moths that you get from the grocery store. Thank you for all your kind concern. The washing is the puttting away of wool for the summer to PREVENT an infestation. I understand that the larvae like the dirt, bo, and food that collects on wool and that is what they eat, destroying the fiber in the process.

Time to Knit

Many friends and acquaintances ask me, " How do you have time to knit?" The answer is simple. I can't afford NOT to knit. My question to non-knitters is 'What do you do when you sit?' The question people should ask is : 'Catie, why don't you knit more?' Or people ask: 'Isn't it expensive?' Not as expensive as travel and more satisfying because I can do it everyday. I can take it with me when I travel or buy yarn THERE and have a keepsake that is crafted by a local and then enjoyed and created further by me.

I believe that we were born to create. Even if you are not an 'artist', so to speak, we create everyday. Meals, computer data entry, children, write, watercolor, clothes, putting together an ensemble etc...... I like this quote by Alice Starmore from her book Sweaters for Men: in the past "women knitted-constantly and with prolific output" pg. x. Women have been creating since the beginning of time. It is just recently that we consider working with our hands and creating 'a waste of time' or a frivolous hobby. Yikes. This is the post-modern age?

Here is a poem, by ME!!!

Knitting
I can't scrapbook and knit and talk or monitor kids.
I can't read and talk and monitor kids.

I can walk and knit.
I can talk and knit.

I can't cook and knit, but give me more time and I'll just might do it.

I can read and knit, I wish I could sleep and knit.
I can pray and knit, but not drive and knit.

Knitting keeps me busy, off the phone, and present in my home. Available to my kids should they have a need. Keep all of us warm and sometimes breezy. In short, knitting is good for the soul and family and woman kind.

Granny I am not.
Weird I am not.
Just a simple girl with a desire to keep busy and create and relax and visit with a fellow knitter.
That is why I knit.