Thursday, September 06, 2007

Here is a quick update to let you know what I have been up to while doing school, getting car fixed, etc....

Brownie. Brownie is natural colored lambs wool top. I am spinning her in a single and plying her with Brown Sugar natural lambs wool single. I am thinking it will be a medium worsted weight. I seem to have a penchant for simple sweater designs, so with that in mind..... maybe a 4x4 rib cardigan, funnel neck, zipper and raglan sleeves. Hip length? Simple things for simple girl.

This is my score from Mosaic. A couple of y'all pals out there wished that I had "FLASHED MY STASH" to you. This here is the Ramblin' Rose afghan from Cottage Creations. I am about 25%-30% done at this point. I am LOVIN this thing. Simple garter stitch blocks with mitered large blocks, small blocks and rectangle. 5 colors: chocolate, celadon, umber, heathered forest, and tomato.

Today is Madeline's b-day. She is dd#2 and is 6yo. I would give you a pix, but, dh made me promise not to put any out on the web. Anyway...... I have not been myself. The b-day has been great! Maddy has had more fun with what she got. I am delighted with her. She was even polite to everyone and didn't act like a little prima donna. I am sooooo proud of her!

What galls me, is my mother (oh, no! not again). Yes, dear friends. My mentally ill mother. She has called me everyday for the last 2 weeks and talked about the balloons she wanted to send her. She has sent all my kids balloons for their b-day. Easy, a phone call, debit card and you are done. Well, this year, she managed to get me to 'volunteer' to do it for her. I can hear you all going,"Uh-oh! Not good Catie, not good!" and you would be correct

So, then I had to listen to her nagging me "Have you done it yet? I made a promise, and I always keep my promises!" So, what follows is a rant. A letter to my mother of words that I cannot say to her. Actually, I could but considering that she is bipolar, affective schizophrenic and borderline personality.... I won't. I don't need the added guilt of making her feel suicidal. Been there, done that.

Mom, I am 35 years old. I have a husband and 3 beautiful kids. If you want the honor and recognition from a present, get it yourself. I am the one here who needs help and is so busy I can hardly use the bathroom for bodily functions. Get a grip. And while we are at it, I don't want to talk about your health anymore. I don't want to hear about your 'terrible' life anymore. You made your choices. You could have changed your life. Oh yeah, It's MY daughters b-day. I bore her and birthed her, ergo, this day is about me and her. Not you. I am tired of all the holidays and birthdays being sucked down Mary's need hole.

End of note to mom.

Now..... Forgive me for speaking the truth here. I would not be surprised if someone is offended by what I have written. Believe me, I have had plenty of rebukes from people who don't know what it's like being tied to a mentally ill person. It's not like someone who can get better, they don't. Even on meds.

Mom has also been calling the house and hanging up. She did that 2 days ago and dd#1 answered the phone. She knew someone was there and then they hung up. We don't have caller ID, so I *69'd them. Sure enough. As I suspected. Mom. So, after the *(&^^%$ balloons were delivered today, we called mom. Maddy adequately thanked her and then I got on the horn. As kindly as I could (with mom, anything but perfect agreement and acceptance is conflict and will NEVER be over or forgiven), told her that I KNEW she had called and hung up. She promptly lied. I told her, please, I want my dd to have good experiences on the phone. She promised to never do it again. I wish you could hear her breathy, southern belle accent. gross

You would not believe the judgement on the family members. I even had a lady (when I was 17or 18) come to the door and tell me that if Mary's family just understood her better, Mom could get better. Thankfully, dad was at home and intercepted her and told her to leave, kindly and gently, but firmly.

Please don't comment to this. I have had a shitty week, and a so so shitty day. Things could be much worse though. She could be here in town.

Gotta go save Maddy's fish from death by a 3yo.